If you're wondering whom I'm directing this at, don't worry. It's no one on dA.

In fact,

They're my parents. (and if you want to excuse yourself from a load of emo ranting and shit, don't bother reading. Excuse my language. And please don't think bad of me because I'm ranting about my parents. I love them. Sometimes, their "love" can be very hurtful.).





ARRRRGH.

This is so fucking unfair. Why bother raising me up to just dump shit on me over and over again? Okay, one or two lectures I can deal with, but WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WHEN I TRY TO DO WHAT YOU SAY, AND YOU GO LECTURING AGAIN AND AGAIN???

So, basically, you expect me to just absorb everything? And not butt in like a good child, always listening to their parents, never able to get to express their opinions because over the years, whenever they try to reason, they just tell you to shut up and respect your elders.

In the eyes of my dad, everything I do is wrong. EVERYTHING. I go and make my mum a nice lunch and coffee, and then my dad comes home and goes "What the hell have you done today, huh? All you care about is wasting time!". What a grand entrance, one may say. And look at HIM. I haven't sunken low enough to point out all the crap he does, but fucking hell, at least set a fucking good example, won't you?

So you go and make all these hypocritical jibes and stuff, won't you?

And then, when I'm doing homework in the study, my younger brothers come in wanting to play, so I lock the door. Next, he comes shouting at me to open the door, and just lets them in, asking me "Why aren't you doing work instead of wasting time? Like you ever do anything useful!".

That just really cut deep.

All those times they ask "Why are you sad? Did you break up or something equally stupid?", I just want to tell them. But I can't. They're my parents, afterall, and they pay the bills, food, clean the house, work, make my life "happy". But no, like the supposedly nice and quite child I was supposedly raised up, I smile and say I'm fine.

Because I've given up.

No matter what they say, they won't listen, so what's the point?

They want me to shut up?
Would they rather they have raised a doll, still and lifeless, never getting into any trouble?

I've got feelings too, you know.

I WANT to love my parents, and I WANT them to be happy, but at least can they show that they care for me once in a while as well?

And yes, I'm fucking crying.

Get over it, I cry.

And shit. It's 10pm, and I've freaking spent the whole day doing nothing, and exams are next week, and I don't give a shit about them any more, nor do I care about stupid coaching homework that is fucking stupidly hard and fucking one grade above what I'm supposed to be doing, and my parents fucking expect me to still get top marks.

And if you're wondering why I haven't uploaded anything, I don't have the heart to, after getting cut up about so many things so often.